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1. |
Christmas At Candy's
05:20
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dad met mom on christmas day
she was dancing at candy's over on diamond way
the same day they carved that sixteen year old from that unmarked grave
the killer had been slashing up girls since may
her name was jeanette
she was in the 10th grade
pretty as a holiday
her dad said he'd miss her every day
mom was eighteen
already queen of the stripper scene
dad was hometown pride
just out of westfield high
he threw that game winning touch down that made the whole town cry
in june he tried to kiss the town goodbye
but our town just won't let a man slide
so he worked on that oil rig
in the gulf for a time
but he was back by july
back at his daddy's shop patching big rig tires
barely 18 and already sick and tired
mom said dad was waiting for her every night after she got off stage
he'd drive her to breakneck ridge
just so they could smell the sage
he'd kiss her tell her he loved her
and that she'd never have to dance again if he had it his way
then another girl was found dead
barely seventeen
a sunburned redhead
dad promised to keep mom safe
they were sitting in his car
wild horses playing on an eight track tape
she told him she was pregnant
he disappeared the next day
one night mom told me i was a mistake
that was pure heartbreak
i still think of it every day
dad loved mom for a winter and spring
promised her the moon
a diamond ring
while all around teenage girls were dying for nothing
their bodies floating in lakes
buried in shallow graves
where was my old man to keep my mom safe
and then after nine months
he would give me his name
he'd take me up to breakneck ridge
we'd sit in that field of sage
he'd drive me out to butterfly bay
just to watch the waves
we'd carve our names in the sand
he'd show me the whole world
tell me this your promised land
he'd toss me in the dirt
show me how to be a man
some nights i dream he's liftin me up
pullin me outta this rut
he'd show me the way
tell me not worry
then he'd tell me this story
how he first saw my moms face
how he met a beautiful girl named grace
dancing at candy's on christmas day
electric black
firelight
the same dream every night
i'm your son
i was your seed
and i grew up into this devil tree
and now i just pray
that you come back
come back to cut me down
and save whatever's left of me
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2. |
God Is The Devil
05:18
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what if god is the devil
dreaming this nightmare
down at the spirit level
and what if daddy never left
what if god could commit a sin
other than theft
maybe he had us fooled all along
gave us those broken psalms
and just like my dad
whenever i need him
he's just fucking gone
see god gave us father's so wed know about hurt
words so we'd know how curse
and he gave us this life so we'd have nowhere else to turn
then he gave us needles and veins so mickey and i could kill the pain
we bought a bundle of juice in the wake of news
every headline reading: you're born to lose
so we tied our blood in knots
took turns giving each other those poison shots
every day we ran that freight train through our veins
i remember mickey sitting back smiling saying
i think we've been saved
those weren't even our darkest days
faded out and dazed
every light turned gray
mickey and i pissed the next 6 months away
thought maybe it'll be better tomorrow
a day where nothing goes wrong
the radio plays your favorite song
but tomorrow's always too late
and yesterday's always gone
always the same fate
melissa found us on new year's day
we were squattin on parker place
180 days since i'd even seen my own face
melissa introduced me to one-eye ray
said he could get me straight
but the whole time i was just bait
all ray wanted to do was dance on my grave
ray had me runnin numbers
for change and scraps
just a rodent on my way to a mousetrap
heard from mickey that ray had a bad rap
he said we should head east
make some real cash
instead i just waited for things to go bad
ray sent me to breakneck junction
told me there was a truckload comin
all i had to do was drive it back to that high street bunker
but there was no truck
just bad luck
three thugs
thats where it all got fucked
someone had to take a hit
see ray owed money all over sun valley
and he figured no one would miss some bastard dope addict
sometimes i wish i'd died
so i wouldn't have had to run and hide
wouldn't have had to look melissa in the eye
and she never would've seen me cry
but maybe she was setting me up that whole time
so i snuck in to ray's
found my daddy's name and all his debts scratched out in that cook book
ray found me said your dad was nothin but a lowlife crook
and that i had was just his bastard son and i had his eyes his same look
once men lose trust
it all just turns to dust
i ran back to my truck
escaped with some kinda luck
i found mickey the next day
told him we'd do it my way
so we drove to over lucky's in the old stingray
three bullets and my uncle benny's gun at my hip
i stood in the window watching ray drinking red wine and gin
i had one bullet for him
one for the bar man serving him
and one bullet for god if i ever find him
stood there frozen
thought of my mom and mickey and tess and frankie
uncle benny
that midnight alley
the old days in the trash
the trees made of ash
i wondered who would miss me
if this all goes bad
so i put the gun away and climbed back in that stingray
told mickey to keep driving till we're a million miles away
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3. |
The Wrong Side of Heaven
03:28
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shoulda died out there on that county line
but i stayed with you that night
sat at lucky's bar drinkin tanqueray and wine
thought we had forever
thought we had all the time
i shoulda been with em on 4th and drake
coulda saved danny and nate
a million years of heartache
they'd been out there day
waiting for that shipment to come their way
cops caught up with em at butterfly bay
heard danny floored it
laughin the whole way
both of em did six months in that county cage
but if i could relive that night i'd do it the same way
and if you let me love you forever i'd never make another mistake
i'll wash my hands of all that dirt and waste
runaway leave this town to disintegrate
but for people like us it doesn't just go that way
love ends in bad blood and heartbreak
regret that u just can't shake
now i just wish i'd known u for more than a night and a day
i came around to tell your sister i missed u
she just spit in my face
said all id done was hurt u
i waited outside your house with a box of lovesick songs
saw you kissing jacy's brother dwayne on your front lawn
life goes on and on
so i'm sorry danny and i'm sorry nate
i'm sorry for all the heartache
and i'm sorry mom
i'm sorry dad
i''d give anything to see your face
i still got that picture of you and mom on butterfly bay
i keep it with my cards
close to my heart
i still look at it every day
and I promise there'll be no more bad luck
no more bad love
no more midnight transgression
and if you need me i'll be selling prayers on the wrong side of heaven
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4. |
Butterfly Bay
03:10
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sat out on butterfly bay
waiting out the rain
put my daddy's jack-knife in the sand
drew a heart around melissa's name
i still think of her every day
it seems like a million years ago when we'd build fires in that sand
i held her hand
the cassette in the tape deck playing i'm your man
smoked till our lungs were sore
blew halos off to those lost souls from the muddy shore
that was it
all i needed
her
life
nothing more
but god had other things in store
and u can't stop whats comin
some nights just cut ya to the core
melissa's mom got sick after her brother matty came back from the war
her mom died that autumn
melissa found her on the kitchen floor
her eyes still open
a note that read: i prayed for so much more
i found melissa and matty that night
outside that high street tavern
she said u cant understand
and you'll never know what it is to be man
i reached for her hand
matty held me back
said u got nothing unless u can bring back the past
i looked him
in the eye
melissa said he watched his best friend die
held him there in the dirt
no words for that kinda hurt
i could curse god
curse my whole lot
but if you don't move on
you'll just be left to rot
so i took a job at my uncle's shop
past melissa's house every day
my mom told me things would be ok
you lose something
but tomorrow's a new day
mom said when i was a little
she'd take me to butterfly bay
we'd build castles out of clay
she said you'll be king of the world one day
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5. |
The Runner
02:52
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the last time anyone saw her she was running that marathon
headed for the finish line
wish someone could've told her in time
how could she have known that for the last year she was training to die
i knew her as the girl next door
she used babysit my kid sister and i
all day long we'd play on the floor
and when i saw them carry her into that grave
i wished all those memories would just go away
cause the good times are the hardest to shake
and if i could see her I'd tell her
you remind me of that innocent time
before all the bad luck
and the midnight drives
because you once looked out for me
and who was there for you
at the end
when you were runnin
no idea what was comin
where's the world that once held you
the world that knew you
i still sing your life to the wind that calls for you
your daddy told the church you were his only one
and he loved to watch you run
but i always wondered what you were running from
when you'd pass our house under that fading sun
and did you think i'd become this way
smoking dimes and white every single day
full of rage
filled with pain
and at the end did the lord call your name
this life means nothing if like that you can be taken away
all for runnin a race
trying to get somewhere
trying to find your place
whoever dropped that bomb that day
they can take your life
but they can't take you away
cause all of us still remember you every day
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6. |
Benny
02:04
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uncle benny left home at sixteen
took a job cutting steel at that torch lake factory
and every friday he sent becky half his salary
she was back home
still wearing his chain
writing him letters telling him she missed him every day
then benny came home for a night that fall
jimmy told him he'd seen becky kissing mike at sammy's pool hall
saw becky she looked benny in the eye
kissed his face
benny just smiled
pretending to feel something for her other than hate
came back the next weekend
drove straight to the pool hall
business as usual
found mike outside in his truck
benny opened the door
grabbed his neck
didn't let go till mike was an inch from death
mikey's dad was the town mayor back then
so benny knew what was waiting for him
they put him in the country pen
filled a rubber nose with cement
cuffed him to the bed
beat him for seven days straight
till he was almost dead.
when they let him out
they said they didn't wanna see him around
he could either leave town or they'd put him straight in the ground
benny told me that was the best day of his life
he drove to cali that night
met denise serving drinks on the sunset strip
and they got married that same week under the neon moon of vegas strip
that was back in 86
trouble came trouble went
but he loved denise ever since
told her when he leaves this world she's the only thing he's gonna miss
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7. |
The Devil Tree
06:18
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mickey climbed the devil tree
just to see what he could see
but the old town was dead
black as autumn leaves
it was time to leave
the last time i saw him was on that oil rig off the coast of galveston
he said we can't stop what's comin
then he shook my hand
said i'll see you again
i looked in his eyes saw nothing but fear
our oil stained faces hiding all our tears
and the lines on our palms showed no future
they were just maps of wasted years
he said he'd be back by july
i nodded tried not to cry
then that was that
we said goodbye
the next day mickey hopped a train
found new york city in the pouring rain
he met those hustlers at his big brother jake's place
they gave him a nickname
taught him how to make some quick change
barely eighteen and already a 14th street saint
dealing to bowery bums
hustling with backstreet snakes
by january he met angeline out in the cold on st. marks place
she was a pale eyed drag queen runaway
mickey thought he could play her game
she got him back on juice
and together they numbed the pain
they stayed up at that old hotel for seven days
changed their names
he put her blood in his veins
they promised they'd never leave that place
angeline said she forgot her daddy's face
and the letters tattooed on her back spelled HATE
she came from the sonora bay
she'd escaped the worst kinda of fate
she left home at 15
survived a million miles of bad road and broken dreams
found midnight streets
bad men
dogs in heat
fucked everyone of em just so she could eat
i could love u forever she said
mickey and her were lying in bed
mickey looked up at the ceiling light
thought of death
then laid his head on her chest
they started coming down as the sun came out
nothing worse than sunlight shining on two kids strung out
after all drugs have run out
so they waited for the night then hit the street
met mickey's brother jake on brighton beach
jake looked at angeline
asked mickey what he was doin with a whore
then set his baby brother up for that bad score
three hours later mickey was knocking on the devil's door
wide-eyed
veins pounding
all he could think of was junk and how he could get more
then the cops rushed him
bashed his head hard on the floor
he couldn't help wondering what he'd left home for
mickey spent one month locked in that cell on canal street
shivering on the concrete.
grinding his teeth
nightmares of brighton beach
and where angeline was gonna sleep
31 nights in that tomb
31 nightmares in the devil's womb
thoughts angeline
their old hotel room
three words in his head: see you soon
when he got out he ran straight to st. marks place
found angeline barely alive
he promised her they'd escape
he told her to meet him at midnight on 42nd and 8th
they'd catch that late night train to that somewhere place
angeline was shaking
crying
begging him to stay
but mickey was long gone
off to jake's place
his granddad taught him to put his enemies in shallow graves
his mom told him to look the other way
but this was blood on blood so mickey had to do it his way
he dragged his knife across jake's face
told him he had no right to wear their father's name
then he left him there to bleed out
whispered this is your fate
he took angeline back to that texas valley
held her hand
promised one day he'd show her cali
they'd run circles around a new earth
he'd be the man she deserved
no surrender
no retreat
mickey would cry in his sleep
and when him and angeline found the beach he told her:
i am my fathers seed
in the dirt he planted me
and i grew up into this devil tree
now i just want you to cut me down
and save what's left of me
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